One Year of Keeping my Side of the Street Clean……
Keeping my Side of the Street Clean for One Year-
November is becoming a month where we share our gratitude’s via social networking, and hopefully take time to assess progress in our life.
It hit me on today’s walk with the dogs that for the last year of my life, I have kept my side of the street metaphorically clean and it’s led to a TREMENDOUS PERIOD OF GROWTH. I am so proud of this! This involves saying “I’m sorry” quite a bit and owning things we often would rather dance around. For me, this used to be much easier but far less gratifying.
Sitting down today I asked myself “Just how much has changed Jared?”
It turns out the most powerful thing in my life that is the real catalyst for growth has changed.
Bare in mind I still get emotional, I still overreact sometimes, and I still have said things I regretted, either to a friend or my wife, or even perhaps an incident I may be embarrassed about.
But in every case for the last year I have went to the person and said “I’m sorry for what I said or did.” Perhaps it was XXX or XXXX that triggered me and while I won’t apologize at all times for my feelings if they felt valid, I will assess, and did asses, how I handled it each time and owned that. If the person meant anything to me at all, I stuck to my guns and in many cases this was not comfortable…I went to them directly.
This is a vital aspect to my spiritual growth. For one year in a row in every single case I can think of, and my wife who’s reading this, any friends I’ve had conflict with will hopefully know this to be true.
Am I proud of everything I did? Hell no. Am I proud of how I used resolve in keeping my side of the street clean? You better believe it. There are several things I’ve tried to do, all while living in a new country, all while navigating new waters of this marriage, being a new step dad, and living in a multi generation split level home…. but I’ve done it.
What I know for sure, is that every day I get ever so slightly more and more balanced in my nature. I notice the vantage point changing. I “see different things” around me.
I notice the mom’s and dads a lot more. I notice expecting parents A LOT! I notice people who are changing and trying to do so humbly through whatever process or reasons they are undergoing in their life. I notice people who chase their dreams. I certainly NOTICE a lot of new things because my eyes are just tuned into new things.
Using the block of stone metaphor is another great way for me to explain my philosophy on self evolution (a spiritual process for me) I see use as big blocks of stone and in order to get to that beautiful statue beneath, we must work off some serious residue. A lifetime work in progress most of us are. We must DO THE WORK required which is intense self-evaluation. Easy to evaluate others, but to evaluate and take action on self is where some serious potential to change the world lies.
Nope, I am certainly not proud of every thing I’ve done. Every passionate thing I’ve said. I’ve still hurt feelings. I’ve still made some mistakes. BUT FAR FEWER than years past and MOST IMPORTANTLY I have owned my errors, or tried to do so to the best of my ability and the FREEDOM that gives oneself is intense. I have fewer friends but they are much deeper relationships.
Yep, I am entering a powerfully cool part of the year as I approach all these little anniversaries ahead. Meeting my wife and all that happened so quickly the end of 2011 are giant ones.
I had to cut so many toxic cords, made so many life adjustments in a flash it’s mind boggling a year ago I had not yet left Texas.
If there are any long term words I hope to associate my growth with it’s humility, courage, and authenticity. While I value my intellect and capabilities to solve problems and “succeed” and “compete”…. those don’t make a man out of me.
Humbly appreciative of how quickly, how far my view of the world has changed and so powerfully grateful to have my wife by my side along this transformative 12-month period that just passed.
Taking time to appreciate the man I’m growing in to today and GRATEFUL for adhering to fairly simple, but specific set of standards that has helped me keep that ever so important side of the street clean for this last year.
Humbly moving forward into uncharted, amazing waters…