Day Before the Wedding
I have something to confess. I have prophetic dreams at times, or visions. All my life I have seen a face, with the most intense eyes I could ever imagine, in my dreams. It is always the same eyes, the same look. I can’t begin to describe just how important that face, those eyes, became to me as I grew older. I searched for those eyes, looked for them in every person I passed on the street… I settled for the fact that I might never find the person who those eyes belonged to.
First time I saw Jared was on Skype, late November. I had seen pictures, but they hadn’t prepared me for what I was about to experience. When he looked at me, I froze – for I had just seen into the same eyes I had seen my entire life. I remember stuttering something about “seeing myself”, and then I can’t remember much more. I saw him. I saw me.
I have so much I want to say. Yet I can’t seem to find the right words. I’ve never accepted myself. I always thought I needed to be more. I always thought I needed to be more of this, less of that. Back in November, right before I met Jared, the pieces of the puzzle that is I, started to fall into place. I understood I had been trying to use puzzle pieces that weren’t a part of the Sunniva puzzle all along. It’s a big and complex puzzle. It’s a puzzle that is complete in itself – but I had attempted to break it apart and remodel it. As that realization hit, I met Jared, I looked into his eyes, and my puzzle came together again. The right way this time, and complemented by another puzzle, also complete in itself – but now together they made a brand new puzzle, much bigger, and incredibly beautiful and unique.
We are complete alone, but together we are much more than complete. It’s hard to describe it in any other way than “meant to be.” I’m not done with self-growth. Far from it. But I can say I have successfully begun. The process won’t end as long as I’m alive. I’ll keep growing, and keep learning.
Tomorrow I have another date with destiny. With my destiny. There is NO doubt in me whatsoever when it comes to this upcoming wedding and marriage. I’m glad it will be small, I’m glad it wont be a big deal. Because to me it isn’t about the wedding, it’s about the marriage. It’s about waking up every day giving thanks for another day of loving. It’s about being lucky enough to be in love with your best friend. It’s about … life.
I am overwhelmed by the support from you guys… Today is an emotional day; I have a hard time really wrapping my mind around tomorrow. I’m just so incredibly grateful…
(Facebook post by Sunniva)